Septic system snake oil, revisited.

[Pat]

I know this topic has been thrashed to death on TBN/CBN and I am not doing this to upset anyone with "faith" in their favorite "spunk water", yeast, magic powders, or cabalistic chants BUT...

Here is an excerpt from the March Popular Merchanics:

Septic Tank Additives.
Our new home has a septic tank and a drain field. Is it a good idea to use a flushable additive to treat the septic system, or is it a waste (no pun intended)?
FRED MILLER, BLAIRSVILLE, GA

There are approximately 1200 chemical and biological additives for use in septic systems on the market today: According to the claims in their promotional literature, they are supposed to improve the operation of the septic system and, in some cases, eliminate the need to have the tank pumped. Most of the manufacturers' claims have not been subjected to controlled scientific tests with field data replicated by third-party researchers. In cases where studies have been conducted, there is some debate as to the additives' effectiveness.
Washington State’s Department, of Health invited all manufacturers to provide evidence from controlled studies that demonstrate positive benefit to septic system performance. None were submitted. Also, according to a document from the North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service, additives do not reduce the need for regular pumping of the septic tank. Furthermore, the document says, some of the additives contain organic chemicals that may damage the drain field or contaminate groundwater and nearby wells.
Generally speaking, state health agencies do not recommend septic system additives. If a system is properly designed, and not abused by dumping garbage or chemicals down toilets, the only maintenance needed is inspection and tank pumping.

March 2003 POPULAR MECHANICS.com

Of course if you believe there are 500 mile per gallon carbs repressed by the evil oil companies, that Elvis is alive and well, or that the Government has several frozen corpses of "greys" then I'm sure you will see right through my flimsy attempt to spread malicious lies about the fine upstanding marketers of septic aditives.

[egon]

Pat:

I'm not all that sure that some additives are not benificial. Recall one poster's problem of a while ago with an inactive frozen septic system on a renral unit.

Perhaps there is a hope for a sustainable home business.

Egon

[Pat]

Egon, Given that Washington state invited all manufacturers to provide evidence of benefit and NONE responded, It seems to lend credibility to the concept that the products are BS.

Don't you know that if a manufacturer did provide evidence that was verifiable then their product would JUST FLY off the shelves and the maker would reap great profit while providing a benefit to society.

It is far more reasonable to conclude that product claims are hokum and the makers are essentially defrauding the public, otherwise theyd show proof and shovel in the gold.

Want a sustainable cottage industry? Offer proof of positive benefit from some septic tank function enhancement product and you can sell all you can make in your cottage.

There is also a quite large and legitimate standing reward offer for anyone demonstrating "psi" powers under controlled conditions. It goes unclaimed in the face of MANY claims of "psi" ability. I suppose folks with psi powers have all the money they need and don't want to collect the cash.

Patrick

[wingnut]

... yeah, Pat ... but I'm afraid that if I gave ANY proof of my PSI powers, I'd be incarcerated in Area 51 until the guvmint figured out how to harness it to extract more tax dollars from your pocket ... [img]/forums/images/icons/cool.gif[/img]

[Stoneheartfarm]

But, why should septic products be any different than weight loss products, vitamin supplements or any of the other million odds and ends that exist to take a dollar from me? [img]/forums/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

Steve

[Pat]

Steve, It may be a fine distinction, not visible to just anyone, but septic systems tend to be more of a rural issue and get discussed on TBN/CBN more than weight loss which is more universal, not concentrated statistically toward rural/country living.

I'm in agreement, in general, with the concept that much of what is sold in the categories you mention are "BS" but some vitamin supplements have proven health benefits.

I would have agreed without hesitation if you had referred to the typical "herbal remedy" junk that preys on the hopeful and misinformed masses who are ill prepared to divine an appropriate supplement regimen and fall prey to "SUPER CARB BURNER FAT BLOCKER YOUTH IN A PILL WRINKLE REMOVER" and pay BIG $ for no actual medically demonstrable improvement.

But back to the topic, septic system additives. After private consulltation with the wise sage of all matters septic (Egon), I have decided that what septic tank users/maintainers need is an "ALL NATURAL BIODEGRADEABLE CONVENIENT SEPTIC TANK DIGESTION AID" Something that is naturally perfect in nutritive content to support the organic life that is at the heart of septic tank natural function and is easy to store, easy to use, and is ALL NATURAL.

Powdered freeze dried "poop" collected from select "all natural" California vegetarian communes where only all natural no artificial fertilizer no pesticide no genetic engineered O R G A N I C produce is consumed. It would be collected fresh daily, freeze dried, powdered and bagged in recycled paper bags with instructions printed on the bag in Spanish and English (Spanglish?) with soy ink. Simply reconstitute with warm (98.6 F) water (purified or bottled, not tap) to a natural consistency and flush down the toilet. This is the perfect natural additive for septic systems and wil help promote septic system health.

Should we incorporate right away? What about a good product name that we should register as trademark? Should all members of CBN be given first right of refusal prior to any public offerings or would that constitute insider trading? The possibilities are endless. Surely there are many other uses for this product. Add a little to new cat litter so kity knows THIS IS THE PLACE. A little for the roses will perk them up. Potting soil additive.

About names... "Soylent Brown" has a certain ring. If you place the reconstituted mixture in popcicle molds and freeze solid these can be driven into the ground around the drip line of a tree to feed the tree (Poopcicle?)

Sorry... It is too wet to play outside.

Pat [img]/forums/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[egon]

The Name "Soylent Brown" may be an issue.

Isn't there a river in England called the Solent [ spelling ] which some customers may mistake for dryed water and others of English extraction may take offense to the mention of the river in conection with the end product use.

Egon

[Pat]

Hey, If my ole bud Charley Heston doesn't care, then I'm fine with it. I don't really care what a few confused Brits might think as long as Tony B. hangs with us in Iraq.

Patrick

[chrisjbell]

Some people have waaay too much time on their hands... [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

On the other hand, I read the entire thread and have been following it for several days [img]/forums/images/icons/blush.gif[/img].

[bgott]

" If you place the reconstituted mixture in popcicle molds and freeze solid"

That would also have the effect of teaching the kids not to just grab stuff out of the fridge and freezer without asking. [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]