Takes a lot of talent and hard work to publish.
Go for it.
Egon
Takes a lot of talent and hard work to publish.
Go for it.
Egon
Yeah, don't I know it. Having a gimic helps. ie: woman wrestles pigs for a living. Lol! I don't know if you guys read this one or not but try this on for size and see how you like it.
My fourteen year old son Jake, has been pestering me to buy him a lasso. Claimed he could rope a pig, and since we raise pigs, he figured he could use that little tidbit to talk me into getting him what he wanted. I just laughed at him. I've heard of 'cow'boys, but who ever heard of a 'pig'boy, and more importantly, who would want to be known as one? That would be embarrassing if you ask me.
"Son, it's impossible. Look at the way their heads are shaped. Like a cone. The rope won't set. It'll slide down his neck, and over his head, and off the end of his nose. It would be like trying to rope a torpedo." I know this, because I have tried to lead pigs using a rope around the neck, and that's exactly what happened every time.
Nothing had occurred to change my opinion when a fellow named Ricardo showed up at our little pig ranch in west central Florida wanting a hundred and fifty pound hog for a
bar-b-que.
"You'll have to come back," I told him, "I've got the pig, but he's running loose in the pasture, it may take me hours to bait him into a pen so that we can catch him."
He squinted at me over his sunglasses, and frowned, and I immediately got the impression of a man who was accustomed to getting what he wanted.
"I cash heem." He said simply.
He rattled off something in Spanish to the fellow he'd brought with him, and he ran to the truck and retrieved a thirty foot length of what appeared to be ski rope, and brought it to
Ricardo. Trying to be diplomatic, I hid a grin behind my hand, and stepped up my efforts to bait the pigs into the loading chute.
My plan was to dump feed into the chute, allow all the pigs to enter and then evict them one by one, until a good candidate for the sale was left alone in the chute. It's a tried and true method, but takes time. Right after Ricardo sent his buddy for the rope, I sent my daughter Jill for feed.
"I cash de peeg." Ricardo repeated.
Yeah, well, whatever. Okay.
He clearly had only a tentative grasp on English, so I didn't bother to explain that he was wasting his time. Everybody knows that you can't lasso a pig. Everybody except Ricardo
apparently.
I was already slightly irked with the guy. He showed up with no notice, demanding a sizable pig, right now, and once it became clear to me that he did not intend to leave without one, I resigned myself to the fact that the situation could easily work itself up into a pig nightmare. Especially since he had shown up dressed to the nines in white jeans, a
pale blue western shirt, and what appeared to be ostrich western boots. The guy came to buy a pig, and didn't look like he planned on gettin' dirty, which did not bode well for me. I figured I was in the whole deal by myself, which made me even more determined to do it my way.
"Whish wan you wanna me buy?" Ricardo asked, making an increasingly larger loop in his rope, standing there by his pickup truck, one hip jutted out, resplendent in western
attire complete with oversized belt buckle. The only thing missing from his outfit was a set of spurs.
"That one..." I waved my hand indifferently at a half grown barr' (a castrated male), and collected the bucket of feed from Jill as she handed it over the pasture fence. I went on about my business. Dumped the feed into the chute feeder, and then busied myself with trying to keep my feet out from under some hundred plus thundering hooves.
Suddenly I heard...
Whoop...whoop...whoop....and then the hiss of the rope as it sailed through the air.
Ricardo's half pint sized buddy was jumping up and down, clapping his hands like a four year old kid at the circus.
I turned just in time to see the loop settle over the pig's shoulders, see him step through it, watched it slide down over his hips and down his rear legs, and predictably... land in the
dirt behind him.
"Huh." I said. Who'da thought that would happen.
I leaned against the fence post to watch as Ricardo readied his rope for a second attempt, wondering how many times he was going to try this before he would give up. I glanced at
my watch, and sighed.
The pig ran a large circle around us and then came back, drawn by the promise of the feed, but would not enter the chute. He stood at the opening, aware now that he was the
target, and reluctant to do anything that might contribute to his capture.
Whoop...whoop...whoop.
The rope snaked through the air again, this time settling right down around the pig's neck. Ricardo's sidekick's jumping and clapping routine went into over drive, and he was babbling something excitedly in Spanish and while I didn't understand the words, the meaning was abundantly clear.
"You did it, you son of a *&!!!!! You did it!"
Apparently I wasn't the only one who had been slightly pessimistic about Ricardo's pig catching methods. The pig went to squalling and whipping his head back and forth, but
much to my amazement, appeared to be well and thoroughly caught, saving me the good Lord only knows how much time runnin' and chasin' and cussin'.
This is where I began to understand Ricardo's choice of attire. He had done his part. He merely kept pressure on the rope while his helper jumped the fence, scurried over to the
pig, legged it, and flipped it on it's side. It all happened so fast that I stood there with my mouth hanging open and really didn't know what to do until Ricardo gave me one of
those...'well?' looks.
"Oh!"
I grabbed the four foot length of clothesline rope that I had shoved into my back pocket and straddled the pig, and while he bucked and thrashed, I tied his two front feet together,
then tied his two back feet together, and using the balance of the rope, I tied the two pairs of feet together in the middle. Then I stood up, and we all watched as the pig struggled to
get his feet loose, but the rope held and he finally sighed and gave up, his sides heaving from the effort. Now it was a simple matter of hefting him into the back of the truck and
we were done.
"How...I mean....how...?" I stammered, and Ricardo smiled.
"De rrrrrope mus' be...how you say..." He fingered the rope, holding it up for my inspection..."uh...clot? You know...clot!"
"Cloth!"
"Si! Yes! Mus' be clot. So it will...." he made a fist, and a 'clamping down' gesture.
"Grip! So that it will grip!"
"Si! Gree-pa."
Okay, close enough.
I watched Ricardo gingerly dust off his hands, climb into his truck and drive away, and came to the realization that perhaps he had come by that oversized belt buckle honestly.
My father-in-law who was visiting from Texas, was sitting in a lawn chair watching this event, and having never seen such a transaction was thoroughly impressed. But with the wrong part.
"Girl...you art to git yerself into one of them there rodeos!"
"No." I laughed. "Not me...HIM!" I pointed at the truck as it disappeared up the road.
"Now I have to run to town and pick up a little something. A present."
"Oh yeah? Who fer?"
"Jake. He's been pestering me for a lasso. This year...he gets one. Assuming I can find one made of clot', so that it will 'gree-pa'." I said grinning.
Cindy; you gota tell Jake Cowpokes came long before Cowboys. Then all he has to do is go cut a proper sized tree that can be converted into a long slim pole for poking the cows and getting them going the right way. Or maybe lead him towards a Riata.
And of course if he gets one of those make sure he's got a good cinch and doesn't double wrap on the horn.
Just for interest those pie plate buckles make real good protection for when the horse stops and the cowboy kinda falls forward onto the saddle horn.
Egon
Oh, so those things actually have a purpose? I thought it was all for show. I wrote this a few weeks ago and I did get him a lasso but they didn't have anything like what that guy had. The one Jake now has is very stiff and I'm wondering if at some point, after use, it will loosen up a bit.
I've been here, Cindi!!! [img]/forums/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]
I'm thrilled that you're finally getting some monetary reward for your talents!!!! [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]
I hate to say I told you so, but...haven't I been telling you that you're about to start profitting on your talents???!!! [img]/forums/images/icons/smirk.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/smirk.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/smirk.gif[/img]
Way to go, my friend!!!! [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]
Now get your pretty little fingers atyping on The Flaying Room!!! I've been telling you how good it is!!! And when it's published, and you have to head for upstate New York for your booksigning tour, your guest room is ready and waiting!!! [img]/forums/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/cool.gif[/img]
Cindi, this is SOOOO GREAT that it's all coming together for you now!!!! [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]
Rich
"What a long strange trip it's been."
Did anyone ever accuse you of being....enthusiastic? Lol!
Read your e mail. I think I have an agent!
First of all, Cindi, you've always refused to be enthusiastic about your own writing skills, so SOMEBODY had to be!!! [img]/forums/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]
But I have been accused of being enthusiastic, and demonstrative. But, I know I talented writer when I see one, and that's you!!!! [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]
And now you're getting an agent!!!! YAHOOO!!!! Cindi's hittin' the bigtime!!!!! YESSS!!!!!
Rich
"What a long strange trip it's been."
Remember when your haveing those book signings to have a special autograph line for your tractor friends ! Dave
Don't you worry Dave. I never forget anybody who's nice to me. [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]
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