Home Schooling

[SLOBuds]

Thank you Hakim.

All of my children are adults. I am not considring home schooling for my children. I am just trying to educate myself a little bit about how the process works. And probably I could actually research this on the net, but this group seems to be fairly active and also seems happy to answer questions.

Almost everyone I know who does home schooling seems to have a faith-based reason. And usually it is a Christian faith. I never recall knowing someone who is Jewish or Muslim or athesist who does home schooling. This is probably because I just haven't met those people.

The parents of those children always appear to be of high moral standards. And the children seem to be happy, well-adjusted, and smart. The fear that non-home-schoolers show towards home schoolers is mystifying to me.

Thank you for the information Hakim. I will look at that web site.

Martin

[Hakim]

Hi Martin,

The number of families home schooling has increased dramatically over the past 10 to 15 years.

You can find a lot of information here American Home schooling Assn. .

We happen to be a Muslim family, and interacted with all kinds of other home schoolers, including various Christian religious groups.

I think for many people who desire to make a life of sincere religious behaviors the bias of their life, home schooling is about the only viable alternative to public schooling.

Catholics, of course, have had their own school system for more than 100 years. Jews have their own schools as well, including special school after regular public school for those who do not attend the Jewish school full time.

Many more "secular" people are joining home schooling, simply because of the deterioration of academic standards, violence, moral issues, etc. that plague public schools.

I never was interested to "debate" those who oppose home schooling. It was fantastic for us.

I am sure there are some parents who are ill-equipped to "teach" their children adequately. But from my experience of home schooling for almost 15 years, I never saw any evidence of children not properly supervised, taught and loved while home schooling. The opposite was true in my experience.

The main "argument" we always heard was that our children woulkdn't be "socilaized" (whatever that is supposed to mean). That is just ludicrous. Anyone who has met home schooled children can easily see their maturity, intellignce, sincerity and well-rounded personalities.

Plus, they outperform the general school populations in terms of academic acheivement, by several gfrades levels, and have for many decades.

Good luck in the information search.

[Tevi]

I think it's the fact that most partents want to raise their children in a morally correct enviroment.The problem with public schools is that discipline is based on religious morals and since you have to seperate religion from state then they can't discipline.

[SLOBuds]

I haven't looked at actual class content recently, but what are those things that they teach in the 'morals' classes at public schools now? I read all the time in newspapers that public schools are teaching values and morals at school. What kinds of things are they teaching in those classes?

[BlueRidge]

Well, you've already gotten some good links for resources for schooling, but let me add a word on the subject of legalities.

Home schooling is clearly legal in some states, and a gray area in others. But even where a state's constitution clearly spells out the right to home school, you may sometimes have problems with the authorities. There are some pretty dangerous ideologues in many public education systems, and they absolutely HATE the idea of any child being out from under their control. They will do all they can to make life miserable for you. Then there are the social workers - for the most part a very liberal group, dedicated to the idea that The State Knows Best. And then there are ignorant people and just plain cantankerous neighbors. One phone call (often anonymous) from one of this last group to someone from either of the first two, and you can be fighting the State just to keep your children in your 'custody'! Even grandparents have been known to do this to their own children because they disagreed with home schooling. Sad but true.

No, this is not an exaggeration. Yes it is the worst case, but it happens too often. And lesser problems happen more frequently.

So what to do about it? I recommend a 'religious' solution. The Home School Legal Defense Association is a Christian organization, but they accept members from all faiths and no faith. A membership will keep you informed of developing trends in your state's home school legal climate, and more importantly, will provide you with legal assistance in the event you run into trouble with the authorities. It's amazing how a phone conversation with a lawyer can calm down a hot-headed social worker on your doorstep!

Take a look at their web site and read up on some of the cases they've handled. You might be amazed at how bad things can get.

I don't say this to discourage you - on the contrary, I'm a big fan of home schooling. All 6 of mine are home schooled and I wouldn't have it any other way.

But the reality is, you are bucking the establishment, and that is always risky. An HSLDA membership is cheap insurance.

[SLOBuds]

It's terrible that you have to fight these things all the time.

As I mentioned above, I do not have children who are school age now. I am just interested in the topic and everyone on this board seem very informed.

As much as I hate to say this, I also have an impression that home schooling families are somewhat discriminated against. Maybe it's not discrimination in the typical way we think of it, but the types of questions they get are very similar to the kinds of negative feedback that are (either innocently or deliberately) dished out to minotiries. I see everything from 'strange looks' at the home schooling families, to consistent (and ignorant) questions about socialization, to disbelief about the practice, etc.

It seems like most homeschool parents are used to these questions. But just like minorities, they must also be always 'on edge' of sorts. Maybe always thinking that strangers have something against you.

Just like minorities who get this stuff all the time, I'm thinking that home schooling families always get this stuff - or THINK they are getting this 'stuff' even whether or not it is actually happens. That's the bad part of the story. The GOOD part of the story is that folks who are subjected to this type of negative feedback can become naturally strong individuals. At one with themselves, as it were. The kids too.

Anyway, it's all very interesting to someone like me who never personally experienced home schooling in my family.

[knucklehead]

Very good discussion; honest questions and honest answers. I've been away from this forum for a while, doing other things. I am very happy to return and read the civility with which everyone conducts themselves.

When we first had children, we were against homeschooling because we considered it to be isolationist. "Lamp on a hill and not under a basket", we thought. Then we thought more about it; about our responsibility as parents and the commitment we were making. We thought about the tender and easily impressed minds we were so blessed to be entrusted with, and about our opinions of the importance of early development of children. We wondered what balance there should be and where that balance point lies between nurture and overprotection. We thought about our childhood experience through the 60's and 70's in Maine, and what a childhood would be like in the 80's, 90's, and 00's in Maine.

My wife had already decided (I played devil's advocate but secretly had my fingers crossed) to stay home and become involved in their education; it eventually just naturally seemed easier to assume responsibility for the whole process. We (I should say she) first asked around of other homeschoolers, familiarized herself with some common processes (including the state requirements), then stepped out into the Whirled Wide Web for info. What an overload! The single hardest part about homeschooling is choosing from the vast landscape of educational information and opportunities available.

We understand now that homeshcooling does not necessarily mean teaching your child at home; it means recognizing your responsibility for all of the decisions about their upbringing and education, and acting confidently on that responsibility. If every parent did that, schools would transform overnight. We now explain this to those who say they would like to homeschool but "could not" for a variety of reasons. We encourage them to view themselves as the controlling party and the schools as subcontractors. Perhaps a little intimidating, as some "educators" may sound (and be) condescending initially, but most are thankful for involved parents.

Bad examples abound and are growing as the "anything goes" societal model spreads, but most of us would soon discover that a relatively small effort from parents, the earlier the better, pays off in huge behavioral and educational results well before our kids reach the double digits. Reading to a 1-6 year old and teaching them to recite the alphabet is one of the easiest and most profitable expenditures of time anyone can make. Listening to them read, spell, and perform the four basic math functions from 6-10 or so will cement study habits AND a family relationship that carries them through the rest of their lives. Throw in a few games of checkers, chess, cribbage, etc., and/or playing catch, pass, or kick in the backyard, and drowning several worms (or pieces of hotdog/bologna for the squeemish) per month will make a stellar citizen.

Is there anyone here who does not feel qualified to do any of those things?

[BlueRidge]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
As much as I hate to say this, I also have an impression that home schooling families are somewhat discriminated against. Maybe it's not discrimination in the typical way we think of it, but the types of questions they get are very similar to the kinds of negative feedback that are (either innocently or deliberately) dished out to minotiries. I see everything from 'strange looks' at the home schooling families, to consistent (and ignorant) questions about socialization, to disbelief about the practice, etc.

[/ QUOTE ]

Very true. It's expressed in very subtle ways, at times, and very obvious ways at other times. Some of hurdles are from officialdom; there are struggles with things like driver education rules, college admittance, daytime curfew laws, etc.

The socialization one is the most:

a) Uninformed objection
b) Funniest objection
c) Saddest objection

The thing that is called "socialization" in the usual sense is exactly one of the things that most homeschoolers want to AVOID for their children. It's really nothing more than teaching children to follow the crowd. It's teaching them that those who are their same age are their peers instead of those with whom they share core values. It's a problem to be solved, not a goal to be sought!

So, uniformed because it completely misunderstands what is going on in schools and what homeschoolers are trying to do, funny becuase of the vast disconnect from reality coupled with the zealous sincerity of those who raise the objection, and sad because Americans, for the most part, have so completely abandoned their responsbilities as parents that they think only a state run school can properly teach their children what it means to be part of society.

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
But just like minorities, they must also be always 'on edge' of sorts. Maybe always thinking that strangers have something against you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Given human nature, that's always a danger, but I've seen very little of it, really. With a few, yes, but very few. Most of us are aware of and prepared for, but not EXPECTING, negative reactions.

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
THINK they are getting this 'stuff' even whether or not it is actually happens.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, it happens! It happens plenty. Just check the HSLDA website for some horror stories! And the minor stuff happens routinely. But most of us really aren't bothered by it. We are on a mission, and we understand that these things are part of the price we pay for swimming upstream. And, as you say, this makes a stronger person.

[BlueRidge]

Knucklehead, all I can say is AMEN!

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[benedict_14]

home schooling is a great option today, since there are so many hazards and dangers threatening our children outside of our home. it is a two way process, with the parent guiding their child/children to better and greater individuals. it does not limit the child's capability in social interaction. people should not be so harsh in viewing home schooling.