EZ, Maybe a cookbook would be dry and humorless enough to appeal to you.

I just reviewed all three pages of this post and only found a few instances of humor, certainly not enough to detract appreciably from the flow of information.

Here they are:

and the wife caught me admiring her cat

Don't admit anything until you have consulted with your attourney as Bird was a cop and like Marines once one always one.

Obvious attempt at entrapment --> "Garey, you've obviously smoked more stuff than I have..."

Be careful dude!

I know all about taking the fifth to keep from having to say anything that might incriminate me....not to be confused with drinking from the fifth...that usually has me saying too much at the wrong times

Insufficient data, send samples. Also what was the phase of the moon?

The trick is to place a rock in with the pork shoulder and when the pork indicates its done eat the softer of the two!

If you drink the beer you won't care so much about the texture of the meat.

Their being no complaints from anyone else and the information content being easy to separate from the low brow humor and the ratio of BS to info being well wiithin the norm for this group it seems that perhaps someone may need a nap or a chill pill.

I'm sorry we offend your sense of decorum. All I can promise in the future is a whole lot more of the same. It was like this when I came along, it has been like this all the time I have been here and it will most probably remain like this or worse after I am gone.

One of the OFFICIAL MODERATORS of this site is in the middle of this thread (Bird) and he is a retired police officer who can lay down the e-law to us if we need it. I suppose if you feel really strongly that you need to modify the "standard rules of engagement" in place here to suit your personal desires that you could PM Bird and if you don't get satisfaction you can appeal your case to the owner of the site who is THE LAST WORD and whose judgment has always served well and is not subject to higher review.

If something I have said has personally offended you, please point it out then thereafter should I do the same thing again you will know it wasn't an accident.

I am not the THREAD POLICE and have no official standing here. You have as much say as I do and are free to exercise your privilege of posting here until or unless you incur the wrath of the management. I am just providing you with some information of what has been, is, and will likely continue to be, THE NORM and a chance to specifically point out what if anything I said that I should give further thought before repeating.

Pat