OK!!!! That DOES IT!!!

[CJDave]

[img]/forums/images/icons/tongue.gif[/img] After months of getting up early and scratching the yick and the gick out of my eyes so I could peer at the monitor and count the number of posts, I have finally documented an instance where PAT has exceeded the limits of all propriety and decorum by having his post name on THIRTEEN out of the TWENTY-FOUR categories. I'm going to immediately contact his employer and advise them that Pat is taking company time to surf the net. If he is posting here then it's a cinch that he's on e-bay, the shopping internet, the FWD after market accessory catalogs, and auto trader dot com. He no doubt has one of those clandestine software programs where you push a certain key and a fake spreadsheet pops up to fake out the boss when he walks by Pat's coobickle. Who knows what vital company work is languishing because Pat is on the net instead of on the job. [img]/forums/images/icons/tongue.gif[/img]

[egon]

Don't worry CJ; Pat's boss is onto every little scam he tries! [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

Egon [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

[JazzDad]

Dave, don't worry about it. Pat works for NORAD, and is keeping a close eye on those OTHER screens while he is on the 'net. [img]/forums/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

[GaryM]

I know Pat's secret!

You've heard of the eBay snipeing programs, the ones that come in at the last minute and add your bid just before the close?

Well, Pat has a Post Sniping Program. he has a list of posters and whenever someone on the list makes a post, Pat's program jumps in and adds one of his!

Doesn't much matter what's in the post being sniped, Pat has lots of cannned posts for most any topic.

Water treatment? No Problem!
Concrete Houses? no Problem!

[img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

[Pat]

Gary, You promised for consideration previously negotiated that you would not reveal my proprietary secrets. I am shocked to see that you are not a man of your word.

As regards talking to my boss... OK what do you want to say to me? If you want to talk to my bosses boss that is harder to arrange since my wife doesn't talk to strange men (other than me.)

And while we are on the topic of bosses... Some define boss as he who pays you. That is a frightening thought as I am paid by the US taxpayer and there are still a lot of those!

Can I get some slack because I am: 1. retired, 2 it is so hot outside I have to quit outside labor well in advance of lunch. This leaves few stimulating activities (forget TV, I have to be much more tired and near brain death to stand for much TV (decent SCI FI excepted but recorded for delayed viewing.)

Anyway, thanks for the attention guys. The more you discuss me the more I feel noticed.

When I take a break from shop work or whatever, CBN is one of the first choices for a diversion. TBN is about 3rd.

Dave, as the one who started this thread does that qualify you as my very own groupie??? Make a list of all the other contributers (except me of course) to this thread and youi can try to sign them up as charter members of my fan club. Dues are up to you and whatever you think you can scam. I don't want any $ out of it. The ego massage is invaluable, so much so that I may call Tony and Rocko and cancel the "intense interest" I generated in Gary's well being.

[img]/forums/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] Pat [img]/forums/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[GaryM]

Does that make me a "person of interest?" [img]/forums/images/icons/shocked.gif[/img]

I had noting to do with whatever went wrong!

[CJDave]

[img]/forums/images/icons/tongue.gif[/img] I like that idea of having pre-recorded computerized responses to every possible posting. [img]/forums/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] I'm thinking of marketing a device for phones. It is a cradle that the receiver sets in and has a sound-activated relay that remains open while sound emits from the receiver. As soon as the sound quits, it plays a selection of pre-recorded sounds like Uh-huh; oh yeah, ummmm-humm, you betcha, you got that right, I just cannot believe that, is that a fact, un-believeable, and then back to uh huh. It is perfect for those long drawn out: "She said, then I said, then she said......" phone calls from your tiresome cousin-in-law or other equally whacked-out individuals. [img]/forums/images/icons/tongue.gif[/img] You just lay the receiver in the cradle and go about your business. The relay does the work. [img]/forums/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[JazzDad]

Really, Dave? Is that so? Tell us more. That is very interesting. I heard of folks doing that before. I've thought of doing that. If I had the money, I'd do that.

[Pat]

Jazz, Decades back there was an embryonic free association softwarre entitled ELIZA. She asked questions yoi gave answers and yoiu got additional guestions formed with some of the words you used. For example if you said I'm worried, she'd ask why are you worried? You say about death and taxes and she'd say tell me about your concerns with death and taxes... and on and on.

Since there are some pretty good and not too expensive text to voice and voice to text applications available you could feed an incoming call into a voice to text program and pipe it to Eliza. Her responses could be piped to the text to voice program and fed to the phone. Phone solicitors and such would be a good target in addition to Dave's cousin-in-law. If the source is available we could customize it for talking on the phoine to whatever target groups were of interest.

This is not that hard and would probably sell. I have no interest in marketing but someone else might. The idea isn't that complicated and the programing is not above advanced high school capability.

[img]/forums/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] Pat [img]/forums/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[egon]

Why complicate things. Just do not answere the phone! [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

Egon [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]