My New Poem (Please Comment)

[GAFarmer]

Where I’m From

I am from a box,
A matchbox of a community.
A place where dogs roam free
And cows sometimes get out.

I come from a family
A loving and caring family
Who would do anything for me
And have always got my back.

I come from the soil
The same soil that my father and grandfather worked for so many years.
And from the diesel fuel that makes the tractor hum.

I come from the hunt
The thrill of killing a deer.
The sweet smell of #8 birdshot over a dove field in the morning.
And from the freezing cold that makes your toes want to fall off.
That’s where I come from.

[BlueRidge]

Not bad, GA. Not sure about that box business, though. At first I thougt you were talking about life in the city, where people live in little matchbox houses.

[Pat]

Pretty good stuff. I realize you employ poetic lisc. but how does #8 shot smell, compared to any other size? More likely you smell burning propellant.

I actually had to think about the box thing too as I was ready to go off on living in boxes, little boxes, little boxes made of ticky tacky all just the same, but I got it.

[img]/forums/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] Pat [img]/forums/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[egon]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
little boxes made of ticky tacky all just the same,


[/ QUOTE ]

There is an older Folk Song sung by a lady with a gravelly voice the employs almost the same words.

Egon

[Pat]

Egon, I didn't think of the folk song as old but that,of course, is where I got the turn of phrase, and I am not familiar with a gravely voiced female rendition but like the commercial version played on the radio in the 60's. The Kingston Trio did this too I think.

I miss the popularity of folk songs and regret not stocking up on recordings when they were easy to get. Now to effect a glance in the direction of the thread title...

Many fine folk songs were poems set to music and as such had to have a regularity missing from this example of blank verse.



[img]/forums/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] Pat [img]/forums/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[Lil Abner]

I like your poem, GAFarmer. I can definitely relate to the love of home and family portrayed. I especially liked the reference to families that have each others backs.

[cuzido]

I think it is really good and I totally get the use of the box. I hope you will continue to write and let other poems flow forth. I am a poet too but it has been quite some time since I have written anything. Good luck to you and keep em coming!