Biting

[summer]

My son is 4 and has never bit or attempted to bite anyone. Then this week the teacher brings him out to me and tells me he left a mark on another student by biting him. He acted like it was no big deal and he was justified in doing so 'becuase I wanted to use the carwash and he wouldn't let me". They will kick him out of preschool (which I don't completley understand either) if he does it again. How do I prevent this from happening again because our conversation didn't seem to get the message through to him?

[Robertbrown]

I am not a child physciatrist.... I can't even spell it. I guess I'm in agreement with the preschool in that biting cannot be tolerated. For me it raises some red flags. When you consider that you feel your 4 year old did "not get the message". In a matter of speaking you are negotiating with a 4 year old.
How about you spank him and tell him if If "I ever hear of you biting someone again I will slap the taste out of your mouth" Perhaps then he will spend a little more time thinking about how to go about getting what he wants and use his head instead of his teeth.

[Spartacus]

My aunt has a different way of disciplining instead of spanking. She tell her kids to do to themselves what they have done to others. For this instance, she would tell her child to bite his own hand to feel the pain that he caused to his classmate. Her principle is do unto others what you wanted to experience for yourself.

[county]

I had a child that decided it would be fun to bite me, I bit him back and he never did it again! In this case though I would agree with Spartacus.

[summer]

I wish I could do as you advise Robertbrown, but my son would run and tell his father (I am divorced) and I would be in a heap of problems and in court and probably lose custody becuase he would blow it out of proportion! I am going to try Spatacus's idea and see how far that goes!

[Classical Me]

You need to ascertain if there is something more going on that is beneath the surface? Is he acting up at home or anywhere else? Corrective action needs to happen now.

[Bird]

I wish I could do as you advise Robertbrown, but my son would run and tell his father (I am divorced) and I would be in a heap of problems and in court and probably lose custody becuase he would blow it out of proportion! I am going to try Spatacus's idea and see how far that goes!

In other words, the kid has control and probably knows it. If you think the problems are bad now, wait until he's a teenager.

[Robertbrown]

I wish I could do as you advise Robertbrown, but my son would run and tell his father (I am divorced) and I would be in a heap of problems and in court and probably lose custody becuase he would blow it out of proportion! I am going to try Spatacus's idea and see how far that goes!

Probably the better way to go if that is the case. My suggestion might be a little over the top if these are the circumstances. It seems to me that stepping up the disicipline is the point. A 4 year old needs to know that people are paying attention even if they aren't standing over you. Letting him know that he is ultimately responsible for his indiscresions is important.

[summer]

In other words, the kid has control and probably knows it. If you think the problems are bad now, wait until he's a teenager.

No actually my son listens vary well at home and I do discipline him thank you for your input. I didn't say things were bad I just stated he bit someone at school.

Thank you Robertbrown and under different circumstances I would have used your advice!! He has been playing well with others this week so I am hopeful that it was just a one time thing.

[Millie]

If he likes to go to pre-school, you can use that as a motivator. I'd keep him home from pre-school for a day and explain that's what happens if he bites. He'll avoid biting to avoid not getting to go to pre-school.....